Waters Center Blog
As the new year begins, many of us reflect on the changes we want to make and set ambitious resolutions, vowing to stick to them. Yet, despite our best intentions, these resolutions often fade as excitement wanes and life settles back into routine.
Why do so many resolutions fail? The answer lies in underestimating the complexity of real change.
Our brains are wired to simplify, seeking patterns and making assumptions to navigate the world. This tendency often leads us to view ourselves in overly simplistic terms, ignoring the many interconnected factors influencing our goals. For example, losing weight isn’t just about eating less and exercising more—it involves reshaping habits, creating supportive structures, and addressing underlying factors like health conditions or lifestyle constraints.
This is where systems thinking becomes a powerful tool for transformation. By acknowledging the complexity of the systems we operate within—whether personal or global—we can create more realistic and effective plans for change.
As you set your New Year’s goals, it’s the perfect opportunity to embrace systems thinking. Let’s explore one of the most common resolutions—getting in shape—as an example of how a systems perspective can make your goals more actionable, nuanced, and likely to succeed, setting you up to thrive in 2025!
Setting “The Gap”
As an executive and leadership coach, I always start by asking my clients two foundational questions:
Where are you now?
Where do you want to be?
Though simple, these questions spark meaningful conversations about the client’s current reality and their desired future. This process sets what I call “the gap”—the space between where they are and where they want to go. Once the gap is clear, we can craft a plan to bridge it.
As you think about your goals for the new year, start by assessing where you are now. For example, if your goal is to get in shape, take stock of your current physical health and fitness.
A useful way to explore any system, including yourself, is through the iceberg model. This model helps you consider not only the visible aspects of a system but also the hidden dynamics beneath the surface. In this way, you can begin to see yourself as a system with layers of complexity.
The Waters Center offers a helpful template for this approach, using the “gap” mindset to map out changes. The current state of the system is placed on the left side of the iceberg, and the desired state on the right. This visualization will be a powerful tool for shaping and exploring your goals as we dive into the process of thriving in the new year!
Download this tool to use as you work through this goal setting exercise.
Let’s start with what’s visible in the system—the ice above the surface in our iceberg model. Focusing on the visible aspects helps bring clarity and specificity to your goals, increasing the likelihood of their success.
Using the example of getting in shape, it’s important to define what “getting in shape” means to you and how you’ll know when you’ve achieved it. Does it involve accomplishing a physical feat, like running a 5K without stopping? Experiencing a physical change, like losing 10 pounds? Or perhaps being disease-free, with all your bloodwork in normal ranges? Getting clear on your desired outcome—and identifying the evidence that will show you’ve reached it—is a powerful first step.
I often encourage starting with the desired state, but you can also begin with your current reality. If your goal is to get in shape, assess your current fitness level. What is your “shape” right now? The more specific your evidence for where you are today, the easier it will be to track your progress and measure success as you move toward your goal.
This process helps you define your “gap” by concretely mapping where you are now and where you want to be by year’s end.
Here are some key questions to ask yourself about the visible aspects of your system:
Current (left side of the iceberg template):
What’s the current state of the goal area (i.e. health, leadership, relationships, etc.)?
How do you perceive it, and how is it perceived by others?
What evidence shows where things stand now?
Desired (right side of the iceberg template):
What do you truly want to achieve?
How will you know when you’ve reached your goal?
What visible evidence will confirm the change you seek?
Look Beneath the Surface of the Current State
Once you’ve identified the gap between where you are now and where you want to be, it’s time to create a plan to bridge that gap. Systems thinking tools are invaluable here, as they help you explore the complex forces shaping both your current reality and your desired state. By adopting a systems lens, you can uncover what’s happening now and design a system that supports achieving your goals.
Start by examining the “current” side of the iceberg template to understand the intricate factors contributing to your present circumstances.
Patterns of Behavior
The first layer beneath the surface of the iceberg involves identifying patterns of behavior. These patterns are often unseen but play a significant role in maintaining the current state. Reflect on trends and recurring behaviors that have brought you to where you are today. This process makes these patterns tangible and actionable.
For example, if your goal is to get in shape, consider:
What are my patterns of behavior contributing to my current health status?
What actions am I taking that help or hinder my progress?
Are there broader trends—like lifestyle or environmental factors—impacting my health?
Structures in the System
Next, delve into the structures that influence your patterns of behavior. Structures can include routines, policies, time management strategies, or even external factors like accessibility and resources. This step also involves identifying any missing structures that may be perpetuating the current state.
For instance, with a goal of getting in shape, you might uncover:
A lack of dedicated time for exercise.
Irregular visits to the doctor or barriers to accessing healthcare.
Limited access to fresh, healthy foods due to a long commute to the grocery store.
Inadequate insurance coverage for addressing health challenges.
This layer helps you connect the dots between the structures in your life and the behaviors they produce.
Mental Models
The deepest layer of the iceberg is your mental models—the beliefs, assumptions, and narratives you hold about yourself and your goals. These often-unexamined thoughts can greatly impact your progress. This is my favorite layer to explore, as it often reveals hidden limiting beliefs that might be holding you back.
To uncover your mental models, reflect on your thoughts about:
The visible state of things (the tip of the iceberg).
The behavior patterns you identified.
The structures you explored.
For example, when working toward getting in shape, common mental models might include:
“I don’t have time to work out.”
“I lack the self-control to eat healthy.”
“It’s too hard to change.”
These thoughts can subtly undermine your efforts without you realizing it. If you struggle to identify your mental models, ask a trusted friend or partner what they often hear you say about the topic. Their perspective can offer valuable insights into the beliefs driving your behavior.
Spending time with this layer is critical. Shifting your mental models can unlock new possibilities for action and progress. By working through all three layers—patterns of behavior, structures, and mental models—you’ll gain clarity on what has influenced your life and the status quo. From this insight, you’ll begin to see areas that need to shift to make your goal a reality.
Identifying Leverage Actions for Real Change
With a clear understanding of your current state, you can now focus on envisioning what you want to create in the new year. You’ve already defined your goal and how you’ll measure success, but now it’s time to consider the behaviors, structures, and mental models you’ll need to adopt or strengthen to bring your vision to life.
Patterns of Behavior
Start by examining the patterns of behavior section of your template. Ask yourself:
What actions need to become regular habits to close the gap and achieve your goal?
How can you shift your current patterns to align with your desired future?
Remember, you can’t keep doing what you’ve always done and expect different results. This is your opportunity to identify the new behaviors required to create lasting change.
For example, if your goal is to get in shape, you might need to establish habits like exercising three times a week, meal prepping on Sundays, or prioritizing sleep. Define the specific patterns that will help you reach your goal.
Structures in the System
Next, move to the structures of the system section. Consider what new systems or supports need to be in place to help you achieve your goal. In our example of getting in shape, this could mean:
Building an accountability structure, such as partnering with a friend, hiring a trainer, or consulting a nutritionist.
Scheduling regular doctor visits or creating a meal-planning routine.
Setting up time blocks in your calendar for workouts.
Ask yourself:
What do I need to accomplish my goal?
What structures can support those needs? If time is a key factor, think about how you can structure your schedule to prioritize your goal. If energy is essential, consider structures that help you rest, recharge, and fuel your body effectively.
Mental Models
Finally, dive into the mental models section—the most transformative part of the iceberg. Reflect on the beliefs you’ll need to cultivate to make your goal a reality. For example, if your goal is to get in shape, you might need to believe:
“It’s possible for me to be healthy.”
“My body is capable of change.”
“I am worth investing time and effort in.”
Even if these beliefs feel out of reach right now, write them down. They represent the mindset shifts you’ll work toward. If believing these things is challenging, seek support from a trusted friend, coach, or mentor who can help reinforce these beliefs until they feel more natural to you.
Connecting the Dots
As you complete your iceberg template, you’ll notice small “gaps” emerging between:
Current patterns of behavior and the new ones you want to establish.
Existing structures and the ones you need to create.
Present beliefs and the ones you’re striving to adopt.
These gaps represent the leverage points for meaningful change. However, identifying them is only the first step. Often, closing these gaps requires support, resources, and consistent effort. With your iceberg model as a guide, you now have a roadmap for creating the systems and mindset shifts necessary to achieve your goals—and thrive in the new year.
Pulling in Your Support
Now you should have a clear vision of what you want to accomplish and a solid understanding of what it will take to get there. As a final step, write around the outside of your iceberg model all the support and resources you’ll need to close the gap. Consider:
People: Who can support you—friends, mentors, or professionals?
Services: What external support systems, such as trainers, therapists, or coaches, can you engage?
Resources: What tools, knowledge, or skills will you need to acquire to ensure your success?
Take action today by sharing your goals with someone you trust. Send an email or text to a friend and invite them for a virtual or in-person coffee chat. During your conversation, share the insights you’ve gained from this exercise and the goals you’re aiming to achieve this year.
I’d also love to support your journey! Feel free to email me at alison@TheThriveDesigner.com to share your reflections or ask for guidance.
Here’s to a year of growth, learning, and meaningful resolutions that lead to real, positive change in your life. Cheers to thriving in 2025!
Babies are remarkable. While it might seem like all they do is eat, sleep, cry, and poop—especially to a sleep-deprived parent living this cycle 24/7—there's much more going on beneath the surface. If you watch an infant closely, you’ll notice how they actively take in the world around them. Over time, their eyes come into sharper focus, evolving from a gaze fixed on their caregiver to noticing smaller details, like the movement of a pet's tail. Sounds capture their attention, and objects are thoroughly explored by touching and, of course, tasting. Infants learn by engaging with everything around them. In fact, they’re so eager to explore that caregivers often need to step in to protect them from danger. This sensory exploration is a pure, unfiltered expression of curiosity—perhaps even the essence of it.
From birth, children seem wired to be curious. As they grow, they begin to connect, integrate, and synthesize new information to better understand their world, which can be thought of as a system made up of people, relationships, objects, patterns, and natural laws. Even before they develop enough language to ask questions, children are constantly constructing meaning. They instinctively understand the importance of staying curious as they navigate and make sense of their environment.
In their book Systems Inspired Leadership, Frank Uit de Weerd and Marita Fridjhon identify curiosity as one of eight essential meta-skills. They define curiosity as a willingness to explore and learn, leading to new awareness. This definition aligns closely with what we observe in young children—through their natural inquiries, they are continuously learning how their system works.
What happens to our curiosity?
As we age, what becomes of this natural curiosity? Ideally, it would grow and evolve alongside our intellectual, social, and emotional capacities. However, many factors work to diminish it.
One such factor is busyness. In a world filled with responsibilities and endless to-do lists, we can become so focused on productivity that moments of wonder—like noticing the dew on a leaf, listening to children’s laughter, or savoring a smell wafting from the kitchen—feel childish or impractical. Curiosity is relegated to an indulgent luxury rather than embraced as a meta-skill.
Another factor that stifles curiosity is the emphasis on "right-answer thinking." Traditional education often rewards correct answers, especially in the form of multiple-choice tests that leave little room for exploring what might be right about an incorrect answer. This approach encourages memorization over inquiry. As Daniel Kim puts it, “Having to know the answers puts one in a terrible position from which to learn.” While acquiring knowledge is valuable, genuine learning happens when we connect new information with what we already know. Curiosity bridges this gap, helping us make meaningful connections between past experiences and new insights.
In a mechanical system, a skilled technician can quickly diagnose a broken part or a misaligned connection. However, this technical expertise is born from genuine curiosity. Temple Grandin suggests in her book Visual Thinking that if we continue to prioritize right answer thinking and force people to accept predetermined answers, we will extinct the next generation of technicians and innovators because we are stifling much-needed curiosity. Since human systems are even more complex, it stands to reason that learning to be curious about relationships will improve our ability to solve all kinds of problems.
Exercising Curiosity Using the Habits of a Systems Thinker
If curiosity is a skill, what if we intentionally worked to strengthen it, like a muscle that grows with exercise? Can practice help us to build curiosity? The Habits of Systems Thinker are practices that can help build the meta-skill of curiosity and counteract the cultural trends that weaken our curiosity muscle.
At the Waters Center, we are often asked, "Why focus on habits?" Habits reinforce the idea that systems thinking is something you do, not just a theory to understand. People have agency over the habits they develop. If we want to build our "curiosity muscle," we can consciously apply these thinking habits as a way to practice curiosity.
The Habits of a Systems Thinker help us see the importance of relationships within complex systems. Surfacing and testing our assumptions and mental models promotes curiosity by encouraging people to question their own beliefs and consider the ideas of other people. A curious mind naturally probes how different beliefs shape an understanding of the world. Testing assumptions pushes us to ask what information we might be missing that is important to fully understanding the system. It requires courage to test our mental models because sometimes when we do so we learn that we are wrong. A CEO in Systems Inspired Leadership says, “No one gets to be wrong, but everyone gets to be curious.” Curiosity is a great anecdote for right-or-wrong thinking.
When we approach a situation with genuine curiosity, we naturally seek multiple perspectives. This not only enhances our ability to see the big picture but also fosters a deeper understanding of complex systems. Even when we think we’ve grasped the big picture or arrived at the “right” conclusion, curiosity invites us to explore further, to take a more nuanced approach. Systems thinking encourages us to slow down, examine issues thoroughly, and reflect on our own mental models, allowing us to see not just the obvious parts of a system but the intricate relationships holding it together—to genuinely see the big picture. The big picture requires a person to look beyond immediate details and ask broader questions about how various components fit together. Curiosity drives the exploration of connections and patterns within a system.
Change is a constant in systems and that change can fuel an innate tendency towards curiosity. People naturally want to investigate why and how things change, leading them to observe trends and dynamics over time. Curiosity drives the desire to see beyond isolated incidents and understand recurring themes.
Thinking in Loops, Not in Lines
A curious thinker enjoys exploring circular cause-and-effect relationships rather than linear ones. These circular relationships can be quite apparent in natural systems. For example, the more flowers the more pollinators, the more pollinators the more flowers, or even a houseplant’s response to a needed drink of water. And yet, circular relationships occur with just as much frequency in more unseen systems. When a person is frequently late to meetings, it can fuel a belief in others that the person is disinterested or irresponsible. However, further exploration might reveal a circumstance that explains their tardiness and creates an opportunity to offer support.
Seeing the circular nature of cause-and-effect and making meaningful connections promote curiosity about how interconnected parts influence one another. Identifying leverage points in a system involves a curiosity about cause-and-effect, understanding which small changes can lead to significant impact and connecting that to what is changing over time.
Systems thinking encourages curiosity about feedback—how actions lead to reactions within a system. The Habits promote inquisitiveness about the ripple effects of decisions and behaviors. They cause us to ask questions like: What is happening? What are the patterns? What are the consequences or actions? What beliefs are impacting the systems in a context of change over time?
Curiosity in Life and in Work
We’ve established that a natural propensity for curiosity is fairly obvious in children, but what does it look like in adults? At work, it might manifest in a team of colleagues where ideas and challenges flow freely, with members who genuinely believe they are better together. Applying the Habits of a Systems Thinker, the team develops a common language that allows them to surface assumptions, consider consequences, and ask questions about how others view the situation from their unique vantage points. At home, it could sound like a parent of a teenager digging deeper to better understand their child's perspective, using language that avoids accusation and instead fosters deeper, more meaningful conversations. On a personal level, curiosity might feel like contentment—recognizing that one is not responsible for having all the answers, but for being curious, taking time to truly listen, and observing with all the senses what’s happening in one’s environment.
Curiosity isn’t a luxury—it’s a critical skill for understanding and improving the world around us. Applying the Habits of a Systems Thinker is a practical way to build our curiosity muscle at the same time we are improving our ability to see complex systems more clearly. Practicing the Habits of a Systems Thinker fosters a culture of curiosity. It enhances our ability to navigate complex systems, opening the door to continuous learning and discovery.
What if our practice of curiosity included recognizing genuine curiosity in others, acknowledging their efforts, and encouraging them by joining in their pursuit of deeper understanding? This could mean taking time to think, fully considering an issue, and being open to changing our minds. What if, every day, we set aside the notion that curiosity is a luxury and instead engaged in it with urgency? What if we embraced curiosity with the same fervor and diligence that we devote to daily exercise and good nutrition? We would be learners, who just might feel remarkable.
References
Grandin, T. (2022). Visual thinking: The hidden gifts of people who think in pictures, patterns, and abstractions. Riverhead Books.
Kim, D. H. (1999). Introduction to systems thinking. Pegasus Communications.
Uit de Weerd, F., & Fridjhon, M. (2021). Systems inspired leadership: How to tap into the wisdom of the collective. CRR Global.